And this is why we tremble

Rape. What is it good for? Depends on who you ask, I guess.

I've been thinking about the topic of for awhile now, probably not surprising given that I'm a woman and others (usually women) forward me emails telling me which precautions to take in order to avoid rape. I remember one email in particular where the only conclusion one could draw was that death was the only protection against rape.

Of course, most of the information in these email forwards is hogwash, if not utter crap. I'll not do it the service of repeating it, but in case you have never received such an email, I suggest you go here and read one. Then, continue on to read how totally stupid and baseless most of the claims are.

Despite the lack of evidence to support such claims, the rumors are paralyzing enough. Generations of American women look over their shoulders, avoid making too much or not enough eye contact with men they don't know, wear their scarves in a particular way so that it can't be grabbed from behind and used to choke them, etc. etc. etc.

To some extent, I've grown somewhat immune or accustomed to most of this drivel. I get the emails and read them just to see what new absurdity has been put on the list. At some point, I figured "Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. Rape is like death and taxes. Might was well just live until it happens." Luckily though, I haven't had to pay up yet. Still, I'll admit, that sometimes I look under my car before I get in, just in case there's someone waiting underneath with a box cutter, waiting to slash my ankles [my grandmother sowed this lovely piece of paranoia].

But despite my fatalistic emotional distancing, every now and again, I get chills and feel sick. This is one of those weeks.

I happened upon a petition to South African leaders urging them to do something about "corrective rapes," i.e. rapes to cure women of being lesbians. It seemed too surreal, too absurd, too asinine, so I knew it was probably true. The 'logic' is breathtaking: problem with dykes - they haven't had a good fucking yet.

But I suppose one might expect this from South Africa, considering it has the highest instance of [reported] rape in the world. And they have a lovely practice of raping children and infants to cure HIV/AIDS, and they -- not unlike other African countries -- also rape your non-child virgins to cure or ward off HIV/AIDS.

Here are lovely facts about the flavors of rape, but keep in mind, these are by NO means particular to South Africa. The myth of the "virgin cure" is alive in well in many/most developing countries, such as India, and was once active in Europe and Christianity as a cure for other STDs.

On infant/child rape:

There were 294 patients, 254 females and 40 males. Victims ranged from 10 months to 13 years in age (mean 5.8 years). The number of cases and severity of injuries increased annually. There were 14 third-degree, 22 second-degree and 91 first-degree injuries. Seventy-nine per cent of assaults were by a perpetrator known to the victim. All but 5 perpetrators were male. Fifty-eight per cent of rapes occurred in the patient’s own home or that of a friend or relative.

On "corrective rape":

This form of rape targets lesbians or presumed lesbians, tends to be gang rape, and tends to be violent. In 2008, Eudy Simelane, a former, well-known soccer player, was gang raped and stabbed 25 times in the face and body, and died for being a lesbian in South Africa.

In 2003, 33 such rapes were reported. I don't know the exact statistics for the past years, but considering that it is now coming to international attention, we can assume that it isn't decreasing.

On martial rape (which might be ok and not technically a crime in some countries):

Around 10% of all rapes are perpetrated by husbands or ex-husbands.

[In the USA] Approximately 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives. (Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994).

And this is why we tremble. This is why we look over our shoulders. This is why we lie to ourselves and tell ourselves that it doesn't matter. This is why we push victims away. It is too horrific, too damning to deal with.

When no woman or child is safe from even her own family and where any excuse to humiliate, dominate, and destroy another's dignity and humanity through what should be a pleasurable and mutually enjoyable act, there is nothing left to do but tremble.